Being in a lesbian relationship definitely isn’t easy. These relationships can often be short-lived and riddled with all kinds of issues. Let’s take a look at what those issues are. Why? Well, to be able to solve a problem, you have to know what it is and tackle it head-on.
Too Fast, Too Furious
Do you know that feeling when you’ve been seeing someone for a while, and now you can’t stop thinking about being in a long-term relationship with them? These feelings have a name, and it’s limerence. It happens to all of us, so lesbians are no exception.
Once they find a girlfriend, lesbian women tend to commit quite fast as a result of those feelings. We don’t mean to throw gender stereotypes at you, but it’s a well-known fact that women tend to be more emotional than men. Whatever the reason for that may be, it can cause them to attach too fast.
Since both partners in these relationships are women, the relationship itself can suffer if partners commit too fast. A good relationship needs so much more than a few dates to evolve. Solving this problem requires only taking some time before you go for the kill.
She’s Just Not Right For You
After you commit too fast, it’s time to start making rash decisions. These decisions can cost you a lot, and we’re sure you know at least one lesbian couple that went through what we’re about to tell you.
So you commit too fast due to limerence, and suddenly, you think you want to spend the rest of your life with your partner. That’s sweet, and it is a happy relationship goal for all couples for sure. However, it isn’t something you should decide before you get to know your girlfriend well.
The first thing you’ll do is think it’s smart to move in together after a short time of dating. This will most definitely help you get to know your partner, but it may not turn out the way you want it to. Living together is how you find out what someone is really like, and it doesn’t mean you’ll like them as much as you think.
This can happen to just about anyone, but let’s apply it to queer women relationships as well. Once you find someone you love and don’t want to lose, you tend to give them more than you probably should. How can you do that, you ask? It’s pretty easy actually. Giving more than you should means you’re not saving any love for yourself.
Still, that’s not the only problem. Basically, you’re making your partner the main priority. If they don’t do the same for you, this can result in you being neglected. We don’t mean that your partner will neglect you though. Rather, you’ll stop paying attention to your own needs. Why? You’re too busy thinking about what your girlfriend needs instead.
Make sure you have your own needs sorted out first so that you’re able to take proper care of your partner as well.
Assumptions and Stories
Not trusting your partner entirely is a normal thing that happens in all relationships. This might come from not knowing them too well, having trust issues, or them acting strange. Whatever it might be, it will cause you to assume more than it’s necessary.
This does occur in all types of relationships. However, it’s omnipresent in lesbian relationships especially. Being a part of the LGBTQ+ community isn’t easy for many reasons. One of them is the fact that you can never be sure who is gay and who isn’t. This is why you can never tell if someone is flirting with your girlfriend or just being nice.
Similarly, you can start assuming that your girlfriend is flirting back and not just being nice. This can be a huge issue, resulting in numerous fights. Of course, everything can be resolved by a simple conversation, but that’s often easier said than done.
The ‘Fix-It’ Girlfriend
Some of us suffer from self-image issues that make us think we can fix just about anyone with any kind of problem. Not only that, but we see it as a real challenge too. We don’t know what about people with rough pasts makes us want to take care of them — but that surely happens.
This is common among lesbians as well — lesbians, in general, love a challenge. You’ve probably heard your friends talk about how they’ll be able to turn a straight girl. We’re talking about challenges like that too. On the other hand, fixing someone’s broken heart and mind takes a little more than just flirting.
Thinking you can make a person all better isn’t the issue here. The issue lies in wanting to invest so much of yourself into someone who might not be right for you to begin with.
Patience as Thin as Paper
All of these issues together can contribute to a lack of patience. Sadly, that’s not the only thing that helps thin out your patience. There are a number of emotional triggers as well. When you’re a part of the LGBTQ+ community, it’s probably true that you didn’t have it easy growing up. Not only did you feel confused about your sexual orientation, but coming out is never easy either.
Consequently, you can end up with a lot of emotional baggage, as well as triggers. This only means that you might need a special kind of care or attention, which is perfectly fine as well. Think back to the fact that you’re already giving your all to your partner, so how will you be able to care for yourself? A lot of the things they might do could trigger you, causing you to overreact or snap. Having patience is one of the key things in every relationship, so having none can be a big problem.
Sex Is Not as Fab as It Used to Be
Having sex is a part of every happy and healthy relationship. So it’s safe to call it a staple part of many relationships. No sex can lead to a lot of issues, resulting in a breakup. However, what happens when you do have sex, and it’s just not as good as it used to be? This can cause potential issues as well.
Having the same kind of sex over and over again can start getting boring, repetitive, and routine-ish. Once sex is no longer fun, you’re in for a lot of trouble. This issue is easy to solve though. All you need to do is come up with ways to make sex fun again. Nothing is off-limits.
So you’re probably wondering how to make a lesbian relationship last. Simply take your time getting to know your partner. Develop your feelings for them in a healthy way, but never forget to take care of yourself as well.